#metoo: In this case, men should be at the center of the discussion

The purpose of the “me too” reposting is to give everyone a perspective on how common and pervasive a problem this is. And it is painfully sad that it is common and it is pervasive.

It reminded me of this post from May talking about how the common way that we talk about rape culture, sexual assault, and domestic violence has a way of pushing the perpetrators to the periphery and almosts makes them invisible, when in fact the problem centers around the perpetrators, not the ones who are posting “me too.”

So specifically, here’s “the problem.”

Men rape women.
Men grope women.
Men assault women.
Men impregnate women.
Men abandon women.
Men abuse women.
Men bully women.
Men intimidate women.
Men harrass women.
Men silence women.
All the time.

Men do this individually and societally because patriarcy, misogyny, and toxic masculinity are alive and well.

Harvey Weinstein raped and sexually assaulted women, all the time.
Donald Trump groped, bullied, and sexually assaulted women, all the time.
Bill Cosby drugged and raped women, all the time.
Bill O’Reilly sexually harrassed women, all the time.
Roger Ailes sexually harassed women, all the time.
Brock Turner raped an unconscious woman.
Ray Rice punched a woman in the face.
Sean Penn tortured a woman.
Chris Brown abused a woman.
Marv Albert raped a woman.

There is no victim unless there is first a perpetrator. The problem has nothing to do with the victim.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

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